Yesterday I helped out a friend by volunteering for our amateur annual porn festival here in Seattle. Curiosity is my friend, but I must admit I was concerned I would suddenly see my favorite barista getting banged by a furry or that I’d have to witness penile electrolysis of one of my usual waiters or maybe one of my friends might have made a submission and I’d have to watch them in some gay boy gangbang but all of those activities happened to complete strangers while I just sat there, next to Dan Savage in the theater, and I was amused and not the least bit turned on for 95 minutes of twenty+ different short films, everything from the aforementioned scenarios to a lady getting a sharp knife inserted into her vagina and a guy drinking his boyfriend’s piss and hilarious animated cartoon sex and one steamy locker room full of perfect male butts and artistic renderings featuring paper puppets screwing themselves by candlelight and zombie blowjobs and on and on. If you’re in Seattle, HUMP Fest is this weekend and tickets are $25.